Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Lazy = Malas

I am sooooo malas lately..dah lah our phone line was down due to the really bad thunderstorm..god, that was really scarry...there i was sleeping with ridhwan on our bed and then suddenly thunder and lightning was heard...umm, thunder heard, lightning was seen...hehee..yes, yes...anyway, my darling angel was beside me sleeping like a log and the mama was terkejut2x pulak sebelah baby hensem...hmmm, my baby is definitely macho! or his mama is a thunder freak..hehee..actually i am..i remember i was so terkejut when i heard a really loud thunder once and i was so shocked to hear it that i started crying and ran to my parents room..hehe..penakut lah pulak....that time i was really small kay, i do no such thing nowdays...hehe...hubby kan ada ;o)

Well, thunder isn't my biggest problem right now....laziness is! I am so lazy lately..lazy to do my homeworks actually...mana taknya, ever since there is no streamyx, i got bored to death so i spend my time playing with ridhwan day and night and also ASTRO! then, my aunt had to give me the LOST DVDs...season 1 and 2! and boy, am i so hooked to it now...bestnya citer tu! thought of watching it tonite...hehe..ada hati tu...but since hubby is asleepu pulak...naaah, maybe tomorrow there i was happily watching LOST DVDs one by one...dah lah no internet to surf for facts...and there's a great DVD lak in hand...hohumm.. make things worst for myself I have two journals to write which needs 8 thousand words each...giler punyer assignment due this saturday..satu hapak tak start and also project(s)...ada 3 rasanya...what am i doing nie??!!! and yet i feel so lazy to do any of it...okay fine, i have searched for info for both the journals but to actually start writting it I am so malas..bila fikir balik, 8000 patah perkataan..rasa macam nak muntah aje..dah lah 1st journal was 10,000 fine, this is less...but still 2 journals!! this is doing masters with a baby is all about...really challenging..they say since you have a child you should be more motivated to do well in your masters...ya rite, the person who told me this is 1st, not married yet, and 2nd, does not have a child yet..okay, okay, i have nothing against her...its just that life as a mother and doing masters is so much different from what I expected...especially if you have a child who has microcephaly and cerebral can't help having that guilt of wanting to spend more time to play with him than study hard for your exams and do your assignments on time...but....with that in mind, you need to remind yourself..or myself in that sense, that the first reason you even took up masters was for the future of your wanted the time flexibility and yet the income coming you are actually doing or sacrificing this for darling baby...and his other siblings...Insya-Allh

So, I guess at times when you feel like giving up...and you feel the dark clouds keep pushing you further and further into the dark need to shine that beautifully sunny side of you and see the silver lining in the clouds..or between the clouds...whatever...hehee...yup, everything happens for a reason and i need to remind myself that....Allah probably knows that I am strong and capable, and all these dugaan is to make me a better person and wife and mother and especially one day shine my beautiful rainbow to others out there..hmmm, that wans't so hard to snap me back to reality yea...hehee....well then people, have a nice, bright and colourful rainbow day! may all the beautiful colours of life reminds you what a wonderful life you are having and no matter how the dark or black clouds come blocking your way, you'll always have the colours of life to look forward to....that's what life is all about...full of colours....

Hehee...teringat cartoon kegemaran masa kecik2x dulu...such a colourful cartoon character...gosh, those were the innocent years time flies....