Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Why? ...why does he do the head banging thing...sigh..

Lately, before and after the seizure episode, Ridhwan has been having head banging session so often that not only is it driving me nuts its mentally torturing me and drowning me emotionally..lately tears have been on my cheeks cracking my head or worrying why in the world does he do that??!! Some may say it could be behaviour problem..what??!! God knows what brain-injured children does sometimes isn't it...but he has been such a pleasant boy all this while...never had this head banging going on..and now lately, its what he does most of the time when he wakes up...huwaaa!!! though one worry that is making my head spinning around and tears dripping on my cheeks even more is that he may still be having unseen seizures in his head....oh no...for example in the morning just now, he looked at me, smiled, then suddenly made a sad face and said, "sakit.."...and rubbed his head....then he played for awhile in his cot...and then said again "sakit..." and rubbed his head...huwaaaaa.....truthfully, these past few weeks have been very hard for me...and somehow its not doing me any good as somehow I am not able to bring myself up like I usually do and am in a depression state at times that its pulling me down even worse....and I hate that so much!! ....I must be tired....or too worried...or dunno lah...all I can say, I have to be strong wether I like it or not...and I am praying like mad that his EEG next week will be okay....or not? ..seee! this negativity in me...sigh...Ya Allah, I pray to you, please keep me strong in times like this, there is no one else I can turn to except you...please keep me strong and please protect Ridhwan from anymore seizures....please....sob.....sob....

7 comments:

~Puteri-Nuur~ said...

Salam ukhwah :)

Insya Allah, Ridzwan will doing fine. I've been reading your blog since couple of weeks ago, well done mamapinkie! You're a strong mother and Insya Allah, and thank you for inspiring me to become a stronger mother, too.

Lightnur said...

Assalamualaikum mamapinkie

I have been to your site for quite a while but this is my first time leaving a comment. Masha Allah this is a great blog.

I am so sorry for what you have been through. I pray that you could pull out of it soon. I know you can be patient and strong at the same time. Ameen to all of your du'a. May Allah cure your son, Ridhwan, and grant you the highest level of jannah. Ameen.

Take care
lightnur.

Mamapinkie said...

Salam ukhwah juga puteri Nuur, thanks a lot for visiting my blog :D And thank you for the well wish for Ridhwan...and for me too! How is Idris? He looks like a very smart boy! How is he OT so far? I'd like to share more with you, maybe leh email ke kan...Insya-Allah we both try to be the best mothers we can be to our children yea..amin...

Waalaikumussalam lightnur...I too have been to your blog quite often but never left a comment...I admire how strong you are in taking care of your daughter and how so much you have done for her...I'd like to know more about her if you don't mind and share our stories thru email maybe...Insya-Allah...its really nice to meet other special needs mother out there to share ....

Jiey^Mien said...

Kak Reenaz, I'm praying so hard that everything will be just fine for Ridhwan..

He has been thru a lot and he's such a great fighter and he'll fight again this time..

As I've mentioned before, dalam setiap langkah Ridhwan, I saw your strength! And knowing you, I'll know you'll be stronger day after day..

P/s - Smpi hari ni, Sarjit still mentioned nama akak tau.. In every visit..

=)

Mamapinkie said...

Thanks Jiey...hugs to you and Ian!! I hope he's okay now...sedih akak dengar dia kena demam panas tu :( ...I'm fine now Alhamdulillah, took me awhile to snap myself out of it this time but no turning back now ya!! ;) Ganbatte!! Insya-Allah...

Sarjit mentions my name a lot??!! Aiseh Sarjit, malu lah like this...hehee...hope she doesn't exagerate sudah lah..hahaha...

I pray too Ian will walk fast as what you wish yea Jiey, every mother hopes for the best for their child kan...amin...

You take care dear! Don't be too anxious that it eats u up kay...lots of doa from the mother and therapy, Insya-Allah both our child will reach their milestones soon ya ;)

Izan Syahriah said...

Ya Allah berilah Reenaz semangat yang kuat untuk menghadapi semua dugaanMu. Amin...

Mamapinkie said...

Chiya...timakacih untuk doa chiya...amin....