Just had my last..i mean actually my last class at night just now....yup, I at last, do not have night classes starting from tomorrow, yippee!!...oh my, how 2 years has passed by so fast...and I could still remember I was heavily pregnant in my first semester and studying for my exams at nights when my hubby was not around..somewhere in another country...but it was Ridhwan in the tummy that gave me strength to continue and be patient to study and do my best for the exams.
When I think back, Ridhwan should be my sole strength again to complete this final semester with flying colours...it is and has always been, but ever since Ridhwan was in the hospital again because of pneumonia and the gastrostomy surgery early this semester, it was like my heart and mind was not on my masters anymore...it was like..it just went down the drain and was not important at all...it was as if I lost hope and faith in doing my masters....
However, when I think back, I have told Ridhwan to never give up and to fight when he was only 4 days old when he was in the ICU with wires and syringes attached to him..and that should be a reminder to myself to never give up and fight...fight..and fight to do well in my masters...do it for Ridhwan..do it to show him, at times of real hardship, I should never give up and do my best...as when I really think about it...Ridhwan is the true fighter...he fought hard for his life when he was only 4 days old..but maybe..maybe... because he heard his mother praying and telling him each day in his ear, to never give up..la takhzan, la takhof, innallah ma'ana...he fought..he actually fought back for his life..and to this day he is still fighting..fighting with his reflux..that sometimes tears run down his eyes cause he was in pain..oh my son...
my mother's friend told me that special children like ridhwan are very special...as they do not show fear and pain...they are special as they can withstand pain that you and I who are considered normal would probably scream and cry in pain...they just smile and only tears come out of their eyes to show that they are in actual pain....then I thought, its true, Ridhwan has never showed pain and cried like any other babies would if they were in Ridhwan's situation...I guess it is because he was strong and he is fighting with pain.....such a strong son you are my son...so special and so pleasant and so strong...your mother needs to be reminded my son, to see that you are a fighter and have always been... and for that as your mother, I must never give up...always do my best and always pray to Allah to give me strength and faith in whatever i do...
To you my son...you are the sunshine of my life..and Ridhwan my love..i dedicate this song for you...Al-Mu'alim by Sami Yusuf...may we learn my son, may we learn from our mu'alim...I don't know why but I cry when I heard this song and thought about you...cause maybe, as a human, we have forgotten what our mu'alim have taught us ..and indirectly Ridhwan, you have also taught me about life and to never give up....wallahualam
When I think back, Ridhwan should be my sole strength again to complete this final semester with flying colours...it is and has always been, but ever since Ridhwan was in the hospital again because of pneumonia and the gastrostomy surgery early this semester, it was like my heart and mind was not on my masters anymore...it was like..it just went down the drain and was not important at all...it was as if I lost hope and faith in doing my masters....
However, when I think back, I have told Ridhwan to never give up and to fight when he was only 4 days old when he was in the ICU with wires and syringes attached to him..and that should be a reminder to myself to never give up and fight...fight..and fight to do well in my masters...do it for Ridhwan..do it to show him, at times of real hardship, I should never give up and do my best...as when I really think about it...Ridhwan is the true fighter...he fought hard for his life when he was only 4 days old..but maybe..maybe... because he heard his mother praying and telling him each day in his ear, to never give up..la takhzan, la takhof, innallah ma'ana...he fought..he actually fought back for his life..and to this day he is still fighting..fighting with his reflux..that sometimes tears run down his eyes cause he was in pain..oh my son...
my mother's friend told me that special children like ridhwan are very special...as they do not show fear and pain...they are special as they can withstand pain that you and I who are considered normal would probably scream and cry in pain...they just smile and only tears come out of their eyes to show that they are in actual pain....then I thought, its true, Ridhwan has never showed pain and cried like any other babies would if they were in Ridhwan's situation...I guess it is because he was strong and he is fighting with pain.....such a strong son you are my son...so special and so pleasant and so strong...your mother needs to be reminded my son, to see that you are a fighter and have always been... and for that as your mother, I must never give up...always do my best and always pray to Allah to give me strength and faith in whatever i do...
To you my son...you are the sunshine of my life..and Ridhwan my love..i dedicate this song for you...Al-Mu'alim by Sami Yusuf...may we learn my son, may we learn from our mu'alim...I don't know why but I cry when I heard this song and thought about you...cause maybe, as a human, we have forgotten what our mu'alim have taught us ..and indirectly Ridhwan, you have also taught me about life and to never give up....wallahualam
1 comments:
La tahzan Ridhwan...:)
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