Why? ...why does he do the head banging thing...sigh..

Lately, before and after the seizure episode, Ridhwan has been having head banging session so often that not only is it driving me nuts its mentally torturing me and drowning me emotionally..lately tears have been on my cheeks cracking my head or worrying why in the world does he do that??!! Some may say it could be behaviour problem..what??!! God knows what brain-injured children does sometimes isn't it...but he has been such a pleasant boy all this while...never had this head banging going on..and now lately, its what he does most of the time when he wakes up...huwaaa!!! though one worry that is making my head spinning around and tears dripping on my cheeks even more is that he may still be having unseen seizures in his head....oh no...for example in the morning just now, he looked at me, smiled, then suddenly made a sad face and said, "sakit.."...and rubbed his head....then he played for awhile in his cot...and then said again "sakit..." and rubbed his head...huwaaaaa.....truthfully, these past few weeks have been very hard for me...and somehow its not doing me any good as somehow I am not able to bring myself up like I usually do and am in a depression state at times that its pulling me down even worse....and I hate that so much!! ....I must be tired....or too worried...or dunno lah...all I can say, I have to be strong wether I like it or not...and I am praying like mad that his EEG next week will be okay....or not? ..seee! this negativity in me...sigh...Ya Allah, I pray to you, please keep me strong in times like this, there is no one else I can turn to except you...please keep me strong and please protect Ridhwan from anymore seizures....please....sob.....sob....